Three months have passed since my last post. Life has been a blur of visits with family, creating special family Christmas memories, and child training. LOTS of child training.
I want to let you in on a secret that I don't think should be a secret. I don't have it all together. There. I said it. I can't do it all.
Many of you tell me that you don't have your life all together either, but I struggle to believe you. Perhaps you appear to have things under control because your house is neat. Maybe another area of your life is a difficulty for you. My house is my big challenge. I write to you in my pajamas (yes is is well after lunch). All three of my laundry baskets have items that need sorted, hung, or put in drawers. I have more laundry to do. The breakfast dishes are still on the counter. Some of the children's Christmas presents are still in a tote waiting for me to put them into our toy rotation. The house in general is a mess after coming back from vacation. Sean has now spent three whole nights in his crib in his own room, though we're still in the process of moving things out of his room. Things are everywhere.
I absolutely positively cannot do it all every day. Some days I get to exercise. Other days I get to take a nap. Some days I use the half hour that both children sleep at the same time to do projects that need my undivided attention. We operate on a 2-3 hour schedule based on Sean's desire to nurse. After he wakes up, I change both kids, nurse, play with Sean, play with Caitlyn, and try to get something done while Sean naps. Then the cycle repeats.
Life is full of choices. I have chosen to always greet my husband with a kiss and a smile. I have chosen to stop whatever I may be doing to kiss a boo boo. I have chosen to give an entire day to holding a teething baby who needed me. I have chosen to read a 15 minute pre-nap story and rock my toddler until she is drowsy. I have chosen to always have a nutritious meal for my family to enjoy. I have chosen to put aside anything I'd like to do after the children go to sleep so I can enjoy my husband's company.
But my house is almost always messy. Perhaps that wouldn't bother you, but it drives me CRAZY! However, I know that someday my children will need me less. Then I can have the neat, clean house this perfectionist has always dreamed of. I wouldn't trade these minutes for anything. We all choose our priorities. The question - are you happy with the choice you are making? I hope you can wholeheartedly answer affirmatively like I can.
Allison - What an honest, heartfelt and touching post. No matter what we sometimes think about other people, none of us can do it all. Even in what you may describe as 'chaos' you encourage me and inspire me through it all. So many times when you've thought that your world may be tumbling down, I look at you with amazement, always taking note of the grace and smile you have with everything that you do. Your choices are perfect. You choose your family over a 'clean house' every time and your family is all the better for it! I hope that you and your family know just how wonderful you are!!
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